One of my biggest fears while pregnant is that I wouldn't have enough patience for a baby. I like things to happen quickly and easily. I feared that if we had a baby that he or she wouldn't eat or cry continuously with me not having a clue what was wrong. My other fear was how I would react on very little sleep - especially with crazy hormones working against me. Most of you know that I am naturally a very emotional person. Mix in postpartum hormones and you have the ingredients for a disaster. I did great (or at least I think I did) of keeping my emotions in check during the pregnancy. Of course I had my slip ups...but this postpartum stuff is a whole new ballgame. People may tell you or you will read that you will be emotional...but good grief. They aren't saying enough about it. I don't want to give the wrong impression...I am not depressed or anything like that. I just cry - a lot. I cry when I'm happy, sad, mad, annoyed, confused...oh I'll cry for just about anything. They don't warn you of that in the hospital. They warn you to look out for depression but not the emotion roller coaster - for me it just solely involves crying. It is just strange. I don't know if others go through this crying thing but it is just strange. For example, I tried to make a hair appointment on Sunday and when I couldn't, I started to cry. I couldn't stop and then I was super annoyed that I couldn't stop. Ugh!
My patience level is being kept in check. I am really happy about that. I'm just so surprised that I don't get annoyed with Libby for not eating or having her unusual lets every every hour schedule or when she spits up on me twice before 6am (like she did today!). It doesn't phase me...except apparently when I get sleep. Jim gives me a present every weekend. He will stay up super late with her so I can get some sleep. This Sunday, he stayed up so late in fact that I slept for 7 hours straight before having to get up to feed Libby. I thought I would feel recharged but apparently it just makes me even more hormonal. I guess keeping my sleeping to a minimum helps! Who knew!
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