Reflections

I have rewritten this at least 4 times. I'm having a lot of difficulty expressing myself and reflecting my time over this pregnancy. Maybe because it is, dare I say, our last planned pregnancy. While it is getting incredibly uncomfortable being this large, I am also sad to see this phase of my life end. This, of course, does not mean end to the Ski Babies. We, if we decide to have more babies, will adopt. It is just that my body cannot physically handle any more pregnancy after the complications of having Libby and TJ. They are our little miracles and we are grateful to have them, and I am very happy to have experienced two pregnancies. So as I go down memory lane, keep in mind that I am a 38.5 week, emotional pregnant lady and only have 5 days left of this pregnancy.

Finding Out
We decided in spring of 2009 that we wanted to have another baby. In fact that is all I talked about with my loving, patient husband. Unfortunately we also wanted to put our house up for sale. For those that have never had their house up for sale while having a small child, it is an experience I wouldn't wish on anyone. We exhausted ourselves keeping the house clean and did many a nap time in the car so that Libby could still sleep while we were doing open houses or our limited house showings. This, unfortunately, stressed me out where we didn't have much luck trying for our newest babe. Months went by and it was discouraging me. We were able to become pregnant on month one with Libby so this was foreign to me and I thought me being almost 3 years older was hurting our chances. In July we finally found a buyer and he wanted to act quickly. Luckily we found a house and people that wanted to move out quickly too so by August we were in our new house. December 6th we found out we were pregnant and were obviously thrilled. Of course my OCD didn't make that enjoyment last long as I fretted that the test was a false positive and then proceeded to buy every pregnancy test in the store over the next week. After a few more weeks I became comfortable that there definitely was a baby in there and then became the natural worries that come along with pregnancies as we waited for our first ultrasound. First, though we had to decide how to handle our Dr situation.

Changing Doctors
Our OB with Libby was...how can I put this nicely...was not the best. Yeah, ok. That'll work. She had an old school mentality and handled pregnant women with absolutely no complications easily. However, I wasn't one of those patients as my blood pressure tends to go a wee bit high during pregnancies. So we had to make a decision on whether to switch Drs or not. Actually, it wasn't a question of "if" but "who" should we go to. We had switched health insurance companies since Libby was born and I was hoping that would help me pick a Dr I hadn't seen before and one closer to home. Luckily I found one 15 minutes away from our new house and interviewed them via the phone. I spent a good 20-30 minutes asking detailed questions on how they would have handled my first pregnancy and what their approach would be with the second given my history. Honestly, I was waiting to see if they thought I was a crazy person or if they treated me like I was an intelligent woman. When they did the latter I knew I had found my new OB. It was the best decision I could have ever made as they have made this experience so much better and I feel so much more confident that this baby is going to be healthy. It's great being able to trust your doctors.

Two steps forward, two steps back
This pregnancy was very different than with Libby. With her I had complications in the beginning with some spotting and then my blood pressure issues began to show up about the half way point. The benefit of a second pregnancy is you can use the information of the first to engage in a sort of defensive dance against the complications from the first. I have never been stuck with a needle to do blood tests so many times in my life. I even had to become best friends with a huge orange tub that I had to pee in for 24 hours - twice. Lets just say I was willing to do whatever they told me to do. It was working too. I was making it without swelling or blood pressure issues. My weight was staying decent (for me) and I just knew everything was going to be smoother this time. Unfortunately we began seeing a trend that my blood pressure was creeping up around week 28. Instead of waiting to see what happened, my OB ordered a whole menu of blood tests, had me do my second 24 urine test (hello BFF Big Orange!), and had me go to a perinatal unit to begin a series of twice a week appointments that I am still going to. Now I had not one but TWO Doctors helping me carry this baby to term.

Perinatal Unit
I have never been to, nor heard of, a perinatal unit. The staff there couldn't believe I hadn't been to one with my first baby given that when I delivered Libby my blood pressure was in the 200s over 100s. I got tired of trying to find a way to nicely explain my situation the first time and just stuck to my standard "my Dr and I didn't really agree on my condition." The first time I went to the perinatal unit I was terrified. I didn't know what to expect. I knew it was what was best for me and our baby boy but I was still nervous. What were they going to do? Was I going to be on medications? Would they believe me? That was a constant fear. Because nothing was ever documented with my first showing how truly bad my blood pressure was getting, it was my word against the previous Doctor. Luckily these Drs all listened to me and treated me like I wasn't insane. And so began my many, many trips to the perinatal unit. I have my last appointment on Monday and I am actually going to miss some of the nurses there. They are so kind. Yes, I realize it is their job to make you feel at ease but they do it so effortlessly. There is one nurse, Mimi, especially that I have bonded with. We swap stories about our kiddos since my oldest is similar to hers when she was younger, and she's always giving me advice on things to keep her active. I really owe these wonderful nurses a big thanks because I believe they have helped me make it this far in my pregnancy. I honestly think I could make it to 40 weeks, if my OB wanted me to, thanks to them and their constant care.

Nerves
I thought I would be nervous about the prospect of having two kids and having to juggle them both at the same time. I'm honestly not. The only thing I am nervous about is the epidural. Honestly. That giant needle haunts me at night. Once I get past that point I am going to relax a lot. Even with complications, it is still on my mind.  For example, on Monday my amniotic fluid levels were very low. They warned me that I could deliver in the next day or so if the levels didn't go back up. All I could think about was how my baby may not be ok and that epidural needle. Even in a potential crisis that thing still scares me!

Next Chapter
Although I am not sleeping very well I do day dream a lot. I dream about holding my baby boy and hugging my little girl at the same time. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. I wonder what he is going to look like. Will I finally get one that looks even remotely like me or is Jim going to have another clone like Libby was? How big is he going to be? Will he have hair? I will only have to wait 5 more days to find out. I cannot wait to start this next chapter of our life with our newest baby.

July Update

I am getting pretty bad at updating this thing. Sorry. The pregnancy is still going well (and more importantly, still going on). We're in week 37 now and it looks like we are actually going to make it to the big 39 weeks. At least that is the plan right now unless the baby decides to come earlier or my blood pressure goes crazy between now and 8/11. Otherwise, TJ will be making his arrival on 8/11. Not much is happening other than I am getting bigger and bigger. Yesterday I had the pleasure of seeing how big our boy is measuring at and he is coming in at a whopping 8lbs 9oz which is above the 90%. The estimating is really just that - an estimate and can be +/- 1lb so I am told. I am choosing to think that if he is not that big, he is -1lb of that versus a +1. =) Everyone I have ever talked with has said that they measure them bigger than what they really are so I am holding onto that. The other fun of the ultrasound from yesterday was I got to see him practice breathing. It is such a relief because I am worried his lungs won't be fully developed yet. He's technically full term but there is always a risk that he won't have fully developed lungs. It is really the main reason we want to wait as close to 39 weeks as possible.

Libby is doing great and her vocabulary is growing more and more each day. She's quickly becoming a drama queen/actress. It sometimes worry me the things she fakes but I figure she is just wanting attention. We are very lucky that her bedtime routines have been relatively easy..up until recently. She now knows she can get out of bed and has, a few times now, gotten out of bed after being tucked in. This is a big no-no and her reaction to us catching her up is one for the books folks. Jim caught her the other night and she put her hands up, fake yawned, and said, "I'm just going to bed Daddy. I am SO tired." and then fake yawned again. Seriously? Where did she get that from?! It's hard not to laugh at that and encourage her. I find myself constantly turning around not to laugh when she does stuff like that ... obviously she is figuring out that I am laughing from the sound I am making of trying to cover up my laughs. Oh well. I can only do so much!

She is also letting her imagination go crazy. I'm trying to give her more freedom. Jim and I both want her to start playing more by herself because that seems to be a skill she very, very, VERY much lacks. The other morning I left her in the office as she was chasing Max the cat around with her blankie...using it as a whip...and I needed to make one of my frequent trips to the restroom. I came back into the office to find the cat in a box (and happy to be there because he loves boxes) and Libby hovering over him with a lid in her hand ready to use. I only wish I had my camera but sadly I didn't have it.

The other fun thing we are dealing with recently is the heat. Geesh is this not the hottest summer ever? I'm SO glad that I am this pregnant in this heat. Oh, did I mention our A/C went out on the top floor last weekend? I noticed Friday night that it wasn't that cool and by Saturday morning it definitely was not cool. We called someone over to look at it and sure enough it was broken and he didn't have the part in the van. Luckily we did have A/C on the bottom level so we camped out there all weekend. It was pretty miserable but we made do. I didn't sleep very well because our couches are crazy soft and you sink into them...which is good except when you are 36 weeks pregnant and need to be able to get up and down a million times while trying to sleep on them. The A/C is fixed now and I am back to a real bed so I am happy again. =)

Of course I already mentioned in a previous post that my darling "little" niece is here. She's already 3 weeks old and is growing like a weed from what I hear. I need to go see her but things keep getting in the way!

So I think that is about it...12 days left till TJ comes!

Freakshow Momma

Towards the end of your pregnancy you start to notice that things don't fit like they used to. Shirts cannot accommodate your gigantic belly anymore. You notice the steering wheel of your car is somehow too close to you for comfort. You cannot get in and out of booths at restaurants anymore. Ah, on that let me elaborate a bit.

Jim and I do a weekly date night where we drop Libby off at his parent's house and then go out for a few hours. This week it wasn't going to work out so we decided to take Libby out to dinner with us. She likes going to restaurants but we don't take her that often because the girl won't eat. Instead she likes to focus on the salt/pepper shakers or dumping sugar in our drinks and not allowing us to eat. On this occasion though, we wanted to take her with us and decided to go to a place she liked and we knew she would eat at. So off we went and were seated quickly in a table that was half a booth/half chairs...by the bar...with a man smoking a very heavy cigarette right behind us. While I was thrilled to have Libby trapped in a booth type environment but me having the flexibility of having a chair to scoot out as far as my belly needed me to be, I could not handle the smoke. I do not like to be one of those people that make a scene. In fact, I hate people noticing me at all. So here we are and I have to make a decision whether to handle the smoke or move. I chose moving because after less than 2 minutes my head was already throbbing.

Off we went with the poor guy that would have been our waiter to our new table...or should I say booth. Booths are tricky with me. I never know whether I am going to fit or not and I usually casually joke about it with the person seating us but he high tailed it out of there so fast I couldn't catch him. Libby and Jim got settled in and I attempted to sit. Got up and attempted again. And again. I couldn't fit. The table didn't move. I was in trouble. Then walks in our new waitress. She said she would see if they could figure something out for me and I am turning bright red at this point. I decided to just go for it and squeezed myself in. The baby was not happy and immediately let me know it by readjusting himself onto my bladder. So, yes, I had to go to the bathroom almost immediately after sitting down. The waitress came back and asked if I was ok because honestly, I should have taken a picture, but I was squeezed in there pretty tight. I had to slouch to even fit. I told her I didn't want to cause any more trouble and we would just stay there. Meanwhile my bouncing baby boy was bouncing on my bladder and I didn't even want to think about that until I looked over at my little girl across the table from me tearing up and turning red. I knew that face - dirty diaper time. Boy was I thrilled. For one thing, I knew for a fact that the restaurant did not have a changing table in the men's room so I would have to find a way to get out of the table. The other was I would have to lift my somewhat heavy (36+lb) girl onto a changing table by myself. So now came the challenge of getting *out* of the booth. Jim was very helpful by saying I need to think of it like a game of tetris. Meanwhile I look over and see the single guy sitting in the booth next to us watching me, laugh and smile. Yeah, that's what I want to see people watching me move my belly around so that I can physically get out of the booth. Well, I thankfully find a way so that Jim doesn't have to pull me out of there.

Libby gets changed. I make the baby happy (?) by reducing the size of my bladder. Then I return to the table to find my yummy salad at the table. I purposely ask for salad dressing on the side because it reduces the risk of me spilling it all over me. Unfortunately this didn't happen this time and within 5 seconds of me sitting in front of it I smear salad dressing all over my chest. Luckily this was the last thing that occurred in the restaurant and I was able to get out of the booth just fine when it was time to go. Sadly, I still had to get to my car and encounter the people around me. I had almost made it to my car when I saw that a giant white escalate was parked on my side. Very closely to my door. So I am thinking at this point I am doomed to never leave here and be squeezed in and out of everything only to hear a very loud whistle behind me. I jumped (because I am a scaredy cat) and then heard a man say, "WOW! Do you need me to follow you around with a catcher's mitt?" Honest to God. I turned bright red and said no but thanks knowing I had no where to run because I didn't even know if I could squeeze into my car thanks to the car parked poorly next to me blocking me in. Thankfully I did squeeze in and then once my family was in the car I told my hubby we are NOT eating out until after the baby is born.

So, if you ever see a very pregnant woman just politely ignore her size and do not stare. And do not whistle at her. And do not park crooked near a mini van that you suspect has small children. That's just mean.

Anna Madison Click has arrived!

My new gorgeous niece, Anna Madison Click, arrived yesterday!  She is 9lbs, 21.5 inches and is very, very snuggly.  We're so glad to have you here Anna!

Put 'em up!

Our little "angel" has become Annie Oakley lately.  She's become obsessed with toy guns.  Oh and the bigger the better.  This started over Memorial Day weekend when we went to Jim's cousin's house (who has 5 boys).  Now she loves to get the gun(s) that have been purchased for her and chase people around. 


Put 'em up folks and give me all of your dangly, fun jewelry!

Ski Splash Day

Libby loves water.  A lot.  Her daycare does a "Splash Day" and so I bought a fun sprinkler for her to play in at home.  We took it out yesterday and had a blast.  We started with applying the sunscreen - which she enjoys and we are oh so thankful!



And then came fun time!  At first she wasn't entirely sure she liked the sprinkler...



But she got the hang of it and fell quickly in love with the crazy spinkler.  Here are some of the pictures that are my favorites!







We will definitely be doing this again.  It was so much fun for everyone!

June Brain Dump

So June's gone apparently.  My normal routines of taking pictures, regularly posting here, etc have obviously gone away.  I am hoping this month will be better but I cannot promise.  So, here we go.  I am going to do a brain dump of everything over the past month or so to get everyone caught up.

Baby Update

Well I am 33 weeks (soon to be 34 on Wednesday) and baby is doing fantastic.  I started my regular perinatal appointments last Monday and they seem to be going really well.  Mr TJ is weighing in at approximately 5lbs 8oz at the last ultrasound which is somehow only the 75%.  I cannot imagine what you have to be for the 90%!  The appointments are really easy.  Quick...not so much.  The routine is usually for me to go back and get a quick ultrasound to check my fluid levels and then do a non-stress test.  The non-stress test is where it all falls a part.  The goal is to be monitored for 20 minutes and then get the baby's heart rate up by 15 beats in that time.  The little bugger will manage to go 14 once and maybe twice if I am lucky but still that isn't enough.  So, I have the pleasure of sitting there until he performs...which so far has ranged from 45-60 minutes.  I have a plan for tomorrow though - jelly beans.  We'll see if that gets him going!  

The blood pressure medicine seems to be working well.  At least the Drs seem pleased.  We have another c-section date scheduled now besides 8/11.  Our actual OB thinks we may not make it that long and has scheduled one for 8/6 in case things go sour.  So, now we have another possibility!

Libby Update
She's doing great.  I'm not sure if she really understands about how her life is about to change but she'll figure it out soon enough. =)  Her vocabulary is really growing, and she is really growing up fast.  Unfortunately she knows this and is now testing her boundaries.  We've experienced more intense tantrums and how she wants to do everything herself w/o help.  Even things she really cannot do and end in disasters.  But, honestly, we have to let her try so she can learn.  It's been an adventure for all of us.

So all in all it's been a full but great month but very busy preparing for Baby and honestly, just enjoying time with Libby.  While I am enjoying this pregnancy, I am really looking forward to having my body back and not being the size of a whale.